To Be A Mother

When you become a mom, you learn that life no longer revolves around you. Your decisions, your actions affect another life. This life you created.

I am here.

In this place where I don't know what to do. Do I stay in a "safe" zone and show my girls that taking risks isn't as important as stability? Or do I jump and fight to stand to show my girls that with dedication and sacrifice, you can conquer anything? There's a grey area though. The unsure ness of it all. The messy questions and doubts.

What's more important? What will make you, your family better off? What will make you happy?

You are always asked at some point in your life what does your heart want. But what if your brain says something different? Is it worth taking the jump if you fall? What if jumping comes with sacrifices that take awhile for others to understand?

To make myself happy, to make my family happy, are not in sync with each other.

breathe.


Living in "if" and "do I" are hard things to break. This, of course, is coming from someone who plans everything as much as possible and creates lists and power points to come to a decision.

I used to be a person who flowed. Nothing ever rattled me. Becoming a mother literally cracks open your chest and your heart, your children, create such a soft spot that even a wisp of air makes you worry at times. Maybe I'm being too emotional about it. But Children create something in parents. Be it a soft spot, vulnerability or what have you. The point is it isn't a bad thing. It makes your more cautious. It means you need to look before you jump. I do not believe for one minute that the girls are holding me back.

They make me think before I step
They help me understand, in depth, what a good and bad decision leads to.

But they also make me want to be the best person I can be. I want to be their proof that in today's crappy world, you can still be YOU and do what you set your mind to.

I want to show them that being genuine and determined can lift your soul up so high, you can't help but smile at the view.

I want to be their hero.


-YCM

New Beginnings

It's 2015 guys and I've been in hiding.
I consider winter a cocoon-like time to build myself up and emerge anew.

Based on my time meditating I've come to a few conclusions based on the broken and left over pieces of 2014...

 

   1. I make too many unattainable goals

     2. Young Crunchy Momma has a

purpose but no following or content.

It's like fighting a war without an army or weapons.
3. I need to live in the moment.

 

 

There's nothing wrong with goal planning but it's the amount and quality of the goal that's my problem. So instead of making these goals that will end up being rolled over to next year, I'm just going focus on a direction. I am moving forward into a healthier lifestyle filled with homegrown food and taking better care of myself. Always moving and never ending. Just moving forward.

I have been worried about what to write about to gain more attention here at the YCM blog but it's not about how much I write or how often I write but the passion behind my writing. The problem here is I need better content for you guys to learn from. 
The army consists of my followers
The weapon is knowledge.
In order for you guys to take from my blog and put it in effect in you life, there has to be something worth taking. I have to learn about the things that make a person "crunchy". Awesome part is I actually want to learn! 

Oh, number 3. There's a great quote that I focus on during a lot of meditation sessions, 
" If you are depressed you are living in the past.
If you are anxious you are living in the future.
If you are at peace you are living in the present."

Lao Tzu

Worrying is a natural thing. I've accepted that. I have also accepted the wonderful fact that I cannot control everything.

So here's to a new year of no restrictions,  new growth and infinite possibilities without worries.

 

 

 

-YCM